Friday, 7 September 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Memories

Another place I’ve been watching for a while, but hadn’t participated yet is Five Sentence Fiction, organised by Lillie McFerrin. So once again, now is a great time to start! This is a great idea - short pieces that will be good practice for me to pare them down instead of comma-splicing into paragraphs. The prompt for this week was the word memories, but it doesn't necessarily have to appear in the piece.

Picture found here
Lou slowly counted out pound coins into piles for each drink - his rheumatism was acting up again. Half way through the second pint his eyes would twinkle, and he would charm the young backpackers with his accent and tales of his beloved Maude; she’d been gone now these past twenty years (God rest her soul) and there wasn’t a day she didn’t grow lovelier in his mind. Often this lead to further drinks being paid for in an attempt to entice more stories but it was pointless. Given a third, his brogue would thicken, tears would fall, and Lou would yearn for more than mere memories... inconsolable.


8 comments:

  1. So sad, but so beautifully put! I really felt for him...

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    1. Thanks, I had intended it to be happy, but unfortunately that's not always the case

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  2. Nicely done - that's definitely the way it goes.

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    1. Thank you, at least he had some good times too

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  3. Great vignette, matches the photo perfectly. I like how Lou has layers in him...depending on how many drinks he's had...

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    1. Thanks. I wish he'd stopped at two though

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  4. Heart wrenching. Great piece.

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  5. You did a wonderful job of creating the scene in such a small space. Lovely, tearful tale!!!

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