Friday, 8 April 2011

Flash Fiction - Jake and Gran & Gruk: Attorney-At-Law

Friday afternoon and I've just scraped in with getting two entries for this week's Chuck Wendig's Flash Fiction. Didn't end up doing it last night, of course I got sidetracked. The challenge this week was to pick any of these sixty random and strange pictures and write about it. There's quite a few that I liked the feel of. I might revisit some of these at a later date. For now, I've done two. Not 1,000 words each, just little lightweight ones. Gruk: Attorney-At-Law's style may be a bit of a struggle to read, but it's in the same vein as Grunt Smash-Kill and writing as him was always popular. Jake and Gran was a doddle to write too. I did it second, but for obvious reasons I figured Gruk should be posted last. It's much more like my normal style.

Jake and Gran

Jake always hated visiting his Gran. She was so old. All her stories were repetitive and boring. This trip sucked. Here it was, the start of summer vacation, and he was stuck in the car, when he should have been in front of the TV playing his X-Box. Stupid Gran.

When they got there - finally - he was still in a bad mood. Hopefully his mother wouldn’t want to stay for the whole weekend. He hated the room he slept in, full of dolls and stuffed teddy bears, and doilies everywhere.  Hate was such a strong word, but when you’re fourteen, you have easy access to so much anger. Slamming the car door he skulked and slouched into the house, trailing a lace in the gravel of his Gran’s driveway, kicking up dust.

After constant badgering from his mother, he sighed, rolled his eyes and gave his Gran a peck on the cheek, wrinkling his nose at her old-person smell. He slumped into a chair, pointedly not making eye contact and grunted or mumbled all his answers until the adults moved onto topics of their own. Jake was itching for the visit to be over. He hummed annoyingly and tuned out of the conversation. It was always the same old crap anyway, about dead people and events from long ago, what a waste of time.

Surprisingly, the conversation ran down faster than normal, neither his mother or Gran seemed much in the mood for talking. Jake smiled. This was more like it. Finally the old bag had run out steam, and they’d be heading home soon! Maybe he’d be able to talk his mother into eating out on the way home - anything was better than the interminably long meals of bland, stodgy pap that his Gran always served up while droning on about the same topics she’d already gone over so many times.

Jake led the way to the door, as his mother helped his Gran out of the chair that engulfed her frail frame. As she hobbled painfully to the door, she stopped enroute and picked up a large, slightly grubby teddy bear. Impatient to be gone, Jake steeled himself on the grass for a goodbye hug. A bored look on his face as his Gran drew level with him, her bottom lip quivering,
“This is Mr. Bugglesworth,” she said, her voice cracking, “look after him for me please Jakey!”
“Gran! I’m not a little kid any more! I don’t want the stupid bear!”
At this, his mother chimed in... “Jake! Mind your manners! What would your father say?”
With little grace he sighed theatrically and presented himself for a hug.
“I guess this is goodbye, Jakey. They said its inoperable, and I’ve not got long left. I’ll miss you,” his Gran said, as she leaned her head against his, and burst silently into tears.

Gruk: Attorney-At-Law

“Hi, it me, Gruk, atterny at law. I is a lawyerer, and I do lawyerring werking heer at Johnsun, Smif, Winters and Assossyates.” 

‘But Gruk,’ yew miyt be saying, ‘Yew is uh cave man! How can yew be heer, dooink all dis stuff?’

 Dat is gud kerwestion, it awl hass to do wif takkyon beem mannyypullayshun. My rowl is dat of cellyberrity tell a vishun lawyerer. Dat probberly wear yew rememember Gruk from.Heer at Jonhson, Smiff, Winters and Assyociates, we cayter to awl sorts of littygayshun. Have a complex constachushunal case? No proberlem, we hav reefined and diggernified barriersters too. On starf, we hav amybulanse chaysers, skreeching devorse harpees, serlymee co orp erate mussil, yew name it, we doods it!”

“Gruk has wun agenst such prommynent sulissiters az Cownsiller Gerrtruude de Sinkink Cow, Robo-Tron Lawinator 8500, Misster Libbertary and de Masked Lejustator. Heer at Jonsun, Sermiff, Wintaz and Assyoshiates, we onlie hiers de best!”

“Call me! Call me now! - I pick up de fone and seys ‘Hi, it me, Gruk, attorrnery at law... what yew wearink? Dat coz Gruk awlso do moonliting as sexy fown callerer too. Dat just part of de servis yew get at Jonhnsun, Smif, Winterers an Asosoiachates!”

“Wevver yew is arfter a huuj payowt, gettink off skot free, a kerippiling injunctshun or just yor tiym in de spotterlite, Gruk can help yew. Rememba de naym: Gruk... atterny at law!”

1 comment:

  1. Reflections of the human condidtion. Insightful as such.