Ash everywhere. Even now, days later, the reek emanating from it was palpable. Not a smell, but a taste in your throat. Ripped from our holiday we returned heartbroken. Fragments of our life survived, but it would never be the same. The vibrant green of the lotus in our wedding photo poked out, but we were charred beyond recognition. Smudged but still smiling, the fish I’d sewn for our daughter looked up at me accusingly. I turned to my wife, but her disappointment was hard to cope with. Yet again I futilely repeated my mantra “But I turned it off...”
*****
I have a feeling this will be a common take this week for the prompt from Julia's Place ...but I turned it off..., to me it’s the obvious way to go with it. With my incompetence and forgetfulness it’s a distinct possibility, and writing about it (and including personal touches, such as the lotuses in our wedding photo, and the fish I intend to make) would make my wife even more jittery. Tempting fate she would say. But seeing how I just did the altar for her last night to ward off ghosts and bad dreams (they got a nice beer and some chocolate), I should be fine.
I actually didn't even think of that one. Very nice - it carried me into the sense of hopelessness and the anxious mind hoping not to be at fault.
ReplyDeleteYes I had thought of that one - but not as well as you, this is very good indeed. What a terrible thing it would be.
ReplyDeleteOooo scary. Nicely done, I like the sense of futility and guilt.
ReplyDeleteI thought about writing something like this, especially since yesterday as I was taking a walk I smelled smoke and had myself convinced that my house was burning down. (I'm not in the best psychological space at the moment). ;) Don't put yourself down with incompetence, this is a powerfully written piece, evocative of the true emotion of what would happen in this situation. That's where great writing comes from, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThis made me catch my breath- what a nightmare and what guilt.
ReplyDeleteConvincingly written. Another excellent take on the prompt.
Really well done. You had me feeling your desolation and guilt. I'll be checking the rings and boiler from now on. Brrrr!
ReplyDeleteYour words paint a very vivid picture. Well done!
ReplyDeleteRegardless of whether or not anyone else thought of something similar, you certainly added your own personal touches to this one. Wonderful writing, my favorite line being "...the fish I'd sewn for our daughter looked up at me accusingly."
ReplyDeleteIf I were a house ghost beer and chocolate would definitely placate me =)
A great piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteThe devastation of the fire mixed with his feelings of guilt created an atmospheric tale.
A great sense of the aftermath of a fire ... loved the personal touches - the lotus, the fish.
ReplyDeleteAh so sad, and such a price to pay. Well written.
ReplyDelete